Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein at her Chinese Book Celebration Party

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CHINESE VERSION of The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) is now for sale in China and Dr. Holstein has received six copies. The Chinese title is The Truth, with the sub-title being: My Secret Diary. I’m a smart girl. And I know everything!

Chinese Cover Can you imagine my excitement when I came to my office last week and saw a package for me from China? I was thrilled just looking at the exotic stamps on the package. But I was much more thrilled when I opened the box and there were six copies of my book The Truth in the Chinese version. First of all, the book is beautiful from start to finish. The cover is white with a shading of pink into rose that I love. The words The Truth appear on the cover, as well as my name B.B. Holstein and of course the name of the publisher, XI’ An Jiaotong University Press. There is a picture of a notebook on the cover and the quotes from the Little Prince that I love, “All grownups were children first. (But few of them remember it.)” And then the second quote: “Grownups never understand anything by themselves, and it is exhausting for children to provide explanations over and over again.”

On the inside flap is my picture and a short bio and also a picture of Professor Chen who translated the book.

There is an introduction that I wrote specifically for China about how we live here. Also there are about 35 diary entries that are unique to this edition of the book. Most of them are about the ‘girl’s’ school life. Some are about other issues that come up in her life, such as when a cousin takes drugs and has to go away to a rehab. Over time I will share many of those entries.

What makes this edition so incredibly charming is the lay-out. Almost every page has a little picture that corresponds to what the girl is talking about on that page in her diary. If the picture doesn’t correspond than it is just some adorable, feminine picture that fits the whole atmosphere of the book. I am so impressed with the effort that went into the lay-out.

Can you feel my excitement? I am really enthralled and somewhat entranced by this book. Some how this edition takes me beyond myself. It speaks to me from a foreign land, and yet I wrote it! It acts as an ambassador of good will to another land and yet I created it! It has taken shape beyond what I was able to give it. It is like a child that one has nurtured and yet now speaks very much in its own voice with its own mission.

I am very happy to follow The Truth wherever it needs to be! And of course, I can’t wait for feedback from China. I hope some children and parents will write to me.

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The Truth Book and Free Gifts

As you know from reading my blog, The Truth (I’m a Girl, I’m Smart and I Know Everything!), is a journey with a 10 year old girl. As her diary, this book is meant for any child, parent, aunt or uncle, grandparent or friend whose life includes a young girl. Open the door to her worries, joys & fears. I am so proud of this book as it is one of my contributions to the field of positive psychology and also my contribution to helping kids grow up strong and vital! Buy it and get $8000 in bonuses – http://tinyurl.com/m8ooto

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, positive psychologist and author, speaking at the Norwalk Community College, fall 2008, at the annual Writer’s Conference.

Click here for video

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Reflection

Barbara and book club

Barbara and book club

Summer is here, but I am still basking in the memories of the fun time I had at the Brielle School Girls Night Out.  Here is a picture of me with a bunch of the girls who had read The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything).  And here is part of the note I received from The G.I.R.L. Club: “We loved when you talked about your book with the club!  We also enjoyed when you talked about your inspiration and it gave us an eye opening experience to get us to do whatever we want to do in life…”

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THE ENCHANTED SELF, MYSELF AND THE GIRL IN The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) are all going to China!

My book, The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) is about to be published in a Chinese version in China. For me, as a woman, and a psychologist, this is my contribution to making the world a better place, particularly for women and girls. Everywhere in the world girls need to feel good about themselves and figure out ways to hold on to their talents, passions and potential as they grow up. Here, in China and everywhere. My book helps them do that. The book is in both Chinese and English. And is in an expanded version with more diary pages that cover other subjects. For example there are more pages about school work and school activities in the Chinese version. That decision was made in part to give people in China a fuller sense of what it is like to grow up in the United States.

Still the book has within all the text that make it a charming, fun diary full of wisdom written by a kid. However, many of you may not realize that within the book, both the American version and the Chinese version are many of the core Enchanted Self concepts developed carefully by me, as a positive psychologist, over the last 20 years. These concepts are designed to help women of all ages, whether she is 11 or 75. We all need a positive sense of ourselves that is reinforced from within and from without. As we identify with the girl and her fictional diary, we are give a large dose of encouragement to be true to ourselves, no matter at what stage of life we are.

For me, the book being published in China is a dream coming true. I had always wanted penpals in other parts of the world. Now, I will be sure to have lots from China. I guess I had better start learning some Chinese and planing a trip to China. The girl inside of me is happy. I didn’t let her down. It took many years to connect some of my girlhood dreams into a life event that I helped to create as an adult. I didn’t give up. I hope you will also stay true to as many of your dreams as you can also.

For more on the core concepts of THE ENCHANTED SELF go to my other two websites:

www.enchantedself.com or www.positivepsychologyforwomen.com

HOW DID THE TRUTH (I’M A GIRL, I’M SMART AND I KNOW EVERYTHING) COME TO BE?

As a positive psychologist, a school psychologist and a former teacher, I began to think, how could I write a book that will spark just everyone? If you are a kid, a tween or a teen, you will feel understood and connected to this fictional girl.  After all, she is like you.  She thinks about many of the things you think about and she makes promises about what she will be like when she grows up, just like you do. 

If you are a woman, it will make you want to dance with yourself and with your inner 10 year old and make her energies a part of yourself again. 

 

If you are a mom, you will see your child in a much more profound light.  You will want to help her hold on to her wisdom, wit, sense of competency and self-esteem 

 

If you are a grandparent you will want your child and her child to read the book so that they will both have a chance to develop to their fullest and to stay communicating through all the tough years ahead. 

 

If you are a teacher you will want girls to read the book so they will feel strong and resilient and see that they can hold on to the best of themselves! 

 

So the character came alive.  I felt a fictional diary was the way to go.  The girl, as many fictional characters do, helped me write the book.  She shared her frustrations and her competencies, and she even managed to solve a little around how she could hold on to the best of herself as she grew up.  How she solved the mystery is so endearing, but I can’t give it away because I want you to read the book.

 

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Fun at Girl’s Night Out at Brielle School and the Girls Club in Manasquan School.

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The picture is of me, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein at the Girl’s Club that meets in the Manasquan School.  Soon I’ll have a picture of me at the Girl’s Club Girl’s Night Out at the Brielle School, which is located just a few miles away.  Both visits were such a treat for me.  In Manasquan I got to chat with the girls at the fifth grade level and again another day at the sixth grade level.  All were reading The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything).  At the Brielle School, the kids were sixth graders and they had finished reading the book.  I learned so much from the girls.  I’m very happy to report that the diary format appealed to all the girls and that they felt that the girl in the book really thinks in her head like a fifth or sixth grader.  All were interested in a second book in the series.  So many of the girls wanted to know how I started to write and was the girl from real life.  I explained that I myself started keeping a diary in the fourth grade and that certainly helped me practice writing.  (Even if the spelling was awful).  I also shared that some of the events that happened to the girl happened to me or clients of mine, or friends.  She was really a merger of all of us.  As she should be to share universal truths.  One compliment I received was that the book stayed true to the very end in tone and quality, rather than rushing to a conclusion that felt artificial or lacking.

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Help Find Sunny the Cat a Home

 http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=fmuyu8cab.0.0.puymxhbab.0&p=http://www.enchantedself.com/&id=previewPlease Help ‘Sunny’ with information, prayers and maybe a small miracle that it turns out you should be Sunny’s owner. A stray somewhat feral cat came to our back porch in the early autumn.  His body was practically a skeleton.  I started to feed him.  He blossomed.  He gave up growling as he ate.  He let me pick him up.  He wanted to sleep on the bed!

 
Long story short,  I got him neutered and all his shots.  But he is not a good match for us.  He seems to need to be an only cat, at least until some of the left over wild is out of him.  He doesn’t like my 16 year old female and makes that very clear by attempting to attack her.  This is very hard on her as she has a heart condition. He is more comfortable with our 16 year old male-they ignore each other.  However, I think he would do best as the only cat in a household. He is now very loving and wants to sit on laps and be petted.
 
He recently bit my leg as I was getting ready to feed him.  This must have been because I put him last while I fed and gave medicine to the two older cats.  He needs to be first and I think only.
He is a beautiful short haired gray-taupe striped Tabby.  He has incredible love to give but in the right setting.  I should add my mom is very ill and I have to go back to Massachusetts all the time.  So I am under a lot of strain and time restraints.  Can you please help in any way?  I live in OceanTownship in MonmouthCounty, New Jersey.  
 
I would be happy to provide a good donation in money or in supplying cat food for a number of months to the right real ‘parent’ for Sunny. 
In my next newsletter I’ll send a picture.  Feel free to write to me at one of the following e mail accounts:
drbarbara@enchantedself.com brholstein@aol.com 
barbara.holstein@gmail.com  or call 732-571-1200 anytime. 

Why as a positive psychologist I chose to write fiction: The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

Lots of time people ask me why I started to write fiction as a positive psychologist. It is a good question. I started writing fiction because I wish to communicate information about how to grow up safe and strong to kids and their parents in a way that they can HEAR me.
Lots of time we have great information to share, but nobody takes it in. Why? Sometimes it is too dry, sometimes the timing is off, sometimes it is the speaker’s manner. So to avoid all of those potential set-backs I have chosen fiction. The information is not dry! It is exciting and yet familiar to all of us. All of us were 10, 11 and 12 once. I don’t use my voice, but the voice of a girl who we fall in love with from the first page when she talks about her crush. And I know the timing is right, as every year their are millions of kids getting a year older who have universal concerns about their feelings, their friendships, crushes, bullying, home life, etc.
Let’s take a look at The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything):
Feeling safe to communicate feelings and thoughts, no matter how personal and/or negative, rather than acting them out, is very important in child and adolescent development.
vThe Truth helps move girls, tweens, teens and their families closer to honest communicating. Every page brings to light feelings and thoughts so universal in nature that almost any page can be used to stimulate family members moving toward a more honest and open place with each other.
v The Truth gives a platform for kids to work through negative feelings about conflict and gives parents a new way of seeing conflict from the vantage point of how it affects their kids.
vThe Truth helps to prevent “mean girls” from developing by showing tweens how to express feelings using words, rather than anger or violence.
v The Truth helps girls see that they are not alone, by being able to so easily identify with the ‘girl’ who is sharing her most personal feelings and thoughts with them directly, via diary form. If Mom also reads The Truth and shares more of her thoughts and feelings while also listening to her daughter’s ‘real’ voice, than a family correction will be made and indeed, the girl will be less alone
vThe Truth also helps kids come to terms with growing up in a less than perfect world. The ‘girl’ is able to do this using many skills that the reader can emulate, such as finding ways to hold on to the best of herself, even as she comes to terms with a world and a set of parents that are less than perfect.

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