-
Secrets: You Tell Me Yours and I’ll Tell You Mine…maybe!
Following on the heels of the best-selling book, The Truth, SECRETS is the continuing diary of a girl moving into her teen-age years. The Girl has plenty to fill her journal. The pages reveal a new school, a new baby in the family, new friends, a new guy and a new set of issues to face. Share the secret world of an almost-teen as she learns which secrets to share and which to keep to herself.
Download an excerpt of Secrets here.
THE TRUTH: I'm a Girl, I'm Smart and I Know Everything!
In the mothers' and daughters' version, this girl encapsulates the spark and energy that your daughter has inside of her, and that you had inside of yourself as a girl. It is this special capacity for fun and wisdom that we need to protect in our girls and get back to ourselves!
Let's rejoice in the girl inside of ourselves. Let's give courage and affirmation to our daughters and granddaughters so they know from the inside out, it is ok, in fact, essential to keep her alive, as they grow up.
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist and author of The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) is the radio guest on Chaklet Coffee Books.
I loved being on the Chaklet Coffee Books show. It is amazing how much fun we all had late at night! We got to discuss The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) in detail, and so many related subjects about parenting, growing up, having a crush, etc. It was so delightful to have a 10 year old girl also on the show who had read the book with her Grandma-just what I recommend!
Click link below to listen to show!
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/chaklet-cof…
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist and Education Helps Our Daughters and (Sons) Get the Education They Need
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, positive psychologist and author, speaking at the Norwalk Community College, fall 2008, at the annual Writer’s Conference.
Why as a positive psychologist I chose to write fiction: The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)
Lots of time people ask me why I started to write fiction as a positive psychologist. It is a good question. I started writing fiction because I wish to communicate information about how to grow up safe and strong to kids and their parents in a way that they can HEAR me.
Lots of time we have great information to share, but nobody takes it in. Why? Sometimes it is too dry, sometimes the timing is off, sometimes it is the speaker’s manner. So to avoid all of those potential set-backs I have chosen fiction. The information is not dry! It is exciting and yet familiar to all of us. All of us were 10, 11 and 12 once. I don’t use my voice, but the voice of a girl who we fall in love with from the first page when she talks about her crush. And I know the timing is right, as every year their are millions of kids getting a year older who have universal concerns about their feelings, their friendships, crushes, bullying, home life, etc.
Let’s take a look at The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything):
Feeling safe to communicate feelings and thoughts, no matter how personal and/or negative, rather than acting them out, is very important in child and adolescent development.
vThe Truth helps move girls, tweens, teens and their families closer to honest communicating. Every page brings to light feelings and thoughts so universal in nature that almost any page can be used to stimulate family members moving toward a more honest and open place with each other.
v The Truth gives a platform for kids to work through negative feelings about conflict and gives parents a new way of seeing conflict from the vantage point of how it affects their kids.
vThe Truth helps to prevent “mean girls” from developing by showing tweens how to express feelings using words, rather than anger or violence.
v The Truth helps girls see that they are not alone, by being able to so easily identify with the ‘girl’ who is sharing her most personal feelings and thoughts with them directly, via diary form. If Mom also reads The Truth and shares more of her thoughts and feelings while also listening to her daughter’s ‘real’ voice, than a family correction will be made and indeed, the girl will be less alone
vThe Truth also helps kids come to terms with growing up in a less than perfect world. The ‘girl’ is able to do this using many skills that the reader can emulate, such as finding ways to hold on to the best of herself, even as she comes to terms with a world and a set of parents that are less than perfect.
The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) comes to the Manasquan School Book Clubs for Fifth and Sixth Grade Girls
I had such a marvelous time with both groups of girls. These are great Book Clubs that meet at lunchtime. The guidance counselor opens each meeting with the following: The Truth is….and then she and the girls go around and fill in what is the truth for them over the last few weeks. This time Ms. Sanders was talking about the truth being how great she felt being away on vacation. The girls also had many truths about vacation, some good, some a bit disappointing. But that is the nature of vacations. Not all of them live up to our hopes and dreams. And that is the truth!
Then we went on to talk about The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). In each group a page was read aloud and discussed. In one group we discussed the Book Club that the girl and her friends start in the book.
What was really fun for me as a psychologist and an educator was what the girls would like to see in the next book-the sequel to The Truth and what they would like changed. Come back tomorrow for that information.
“The highlight of our book club meeting was a visit by the author of our book selection, The Truth, by Dr. Barbara Holstein. The girls were able to share and discuss areas of the book that inspired them most. They told her how and why certain parts of the book impacted them. The author invited the girls to ask her questions about her writing experience and whether or not the book was autobiographical. She then asked the girls for suggestions for her next book. They recommended many issues that they felt needed to be addressed for their age group.
What a great experience for our girls! I am sure we have several future writers among them!”
Millie Sollecito Ed.D.
Student Assistance Counselor
Manasquan Elementary School
msollecito@manasquanboe.org
When Your Daughter is on the Brink of Womanhood
I enjoy the company of my two nieces; while one is just two, the other is almost 9 now, an age that has made her mom a bundle of nerves. The “tweens” as these years between 8 and 13 are called, has replaced the teens of a few decades ago. Parents of teenagers were in a constant state of anxiety, wondering how to get them through these troubled years without too big a problem. Today, parents have to begin to worry a few years earlier, when their kids are in their tweens.
As far as I can judge, my niece is a well-adjusted child, even though she does throw the occasional tantrum that has mom and daughter up in arms against each other. But in a year or so, the tiffs between the two are going to get worse, over issues like makeup, clothes, and yes, boys. It’s one of life’s pleasures when you’re blessed with a baby girl, but someone ought to ask God to help the moms magically get through the rough tween and teen years.
Television and shows like Hannah Montana and High School Musical are not doing too much to help either. In fact, they’re in a way responsible for inducing young girls to go in for spray tans, facials, highlights, massages and other beauty treatments at beauty salons. Besides this, there’s the pressure from peers that makes all young girls want to look as grownup as possible (little do they realize that in a decade or so, they’re going to be spending all their time trying to look as young as possible).
The problems parents face as their little girls grow up have a lot to do with the way a woman’s body and physiology are designed. They undergo both physical and emotional changes, and combined with the plethora of “cool” things that are suddenly accessible (like makeup, grownup clothes, boys, and in worst cases, drugs and alcohol), they pack quite a punch for a young mind. It’s hard to remain rational and mature when all your friends are doing it. It’s hard not to succumb to peer pressure and refuse to go along with your friends, not when you’re trying to fit in and be popular.
Parents have to deal with these sensitive issues in a way that’s mature and patient. Very often, they have to draw the line somewhere and put down some ground rules, something that’s extremely hard to do when your daughter is in a rebellious phase. They also have to talk about sex with their daughters – it’s best they learn about it from you because they’ll be able to come to you with any questions they may have as the years go by.
It’s tough, but close-knit families with a sense of values manage to make it through these turbulent times. And they do it by being there for their daughters even if things go horribly wrong; they do it being supportive and not saying “I told you so”; they do it by understanding their children even when they err.
That is the key to getting through the “growing up” years, especially when you have a daughter – understanding and patience.
By-line:
This article is written by Kat Sanders, who regularly blogs on the topic of MRI technician schools at her blog MRI Tech’s Health Blog. She welcomes your comments and questions at her email address: katsanders25@gmail.com.
The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) is #11 in top 100 on Amazon for BEING A TEEN
I would think the girl in The Truth would enjoy knowing that she is captivating the hearts of girls and moms in lots of different places. She loves to travel, but so far has only traveled to one place that wasn’t where she lived. That was the time she got to take a ride in a small plane, sitting alone in the tiny cockpit, with the pilot directly in front of her. What a ride that was. Going up, up, up into the sky, seeing all the houses and then neighborhoods below her, and realzing that her very own parents had become tiny specks. It was an amazing adventure for her, filled with a little fear, offset by holding the pilot’s hand. Of course, he was handsome and dashing and that helped quiet her fears. She came down all too soon, back to the somewhat dull reality of visiting her relatives. That episode is on p.53 of the book. (She tells it better than I can).
She would be amazed to hear that people are sitting at what looks something like a typewriter and ordering her book from a place called Amazon. She does know about THE amazon from her geography class, but what is this? Is her book being stored in the jungle somewhere?
What I do know for certain is that she wants to hear from you. So please write to her after you read The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). Tell her what your greatest adventure has been or have fun explaining what a computer is. Be pen pals.
Mother-Daughter Book Club in Manasquan, New Jersey
I’ve been talking so much about my new book. But they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I thought all of you would enjoy seeing me in action with my book. Here I am with the girls from the Mother-Daughter Book Club in Manasquan, New Jersey. One of the girls, April, had read my book The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) this summer and recommended the book.
As you can see by our smiling faces, it was a wonderful night. I was so happy that all the mothers and daughters had read the book and were ready to discuss school, social, family and communication issues brought up in the book. See the paper heart necklaces I am wearing? Each of them has on it a question that April had prepared so we would have plenty to talk about.
Here is a sample of several of the questions: “What are five things you promise to do when you grow up? How would you react if your mom told you you’re too young for a bra but you wanted one? Do you think teachers have an affect on kids emotions? explain…”
The more I work with The Truth I realize how different from other books it is as an educational and motivational tool. The kids fall in love with the girl who keeps such a truthful diary. They read it as fiction. But it opens up so many doors for education, communication and helping girls develop their true potential.
That night the mothers, girls and I could have talked for hours and hours. We did talk for over 1 1/2 hours, but we had to stop for luscious cupcakes and brownies that the kids had made!
One of my dreams for The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)
It is my dream to have girls and moms across the country reading The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) and then having discussions about the different topice brought up. As a positive psychologist, I believe it is a win-win for both moms and daughters to talk about growing up, staying true to oneself, gossip, families having issues, jealousies, crushes on boys, developing, anxieties about moving, etc. These subjects never go out of date and we can always learn more about ourselves, our kids, and the subjects themselves by having the courage to process them. What a pleasure to be able to experience the happiness that comes from helping the next generation hold on to their power, potential and wisdom!
Author helps teens, moms connect
BY LAURIE LAWLESS
Hour Staff Writer
As a young girl, does your life seem complicated? As a parent, does your daughter and her adolescent issues seem confusing and incomprehencible?
Well wonder no more, because Norwalk native, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein has written a new book to help struggling pre-teens and their non-understanding parents. “The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart, and I know everything),” is a fiction diary written by Holstein through the eyes of an 8- to 10-year-old girl.
“I became aware that children and moms need a way to build self esteem. I wanted something that could catch the heart and spirit of girls and maybe their moms too,” explained Holstein.
Holstein had done extensive research before writing this book, which was released in February, and believes people might actually be surprised by the amount of depth in the story. The book touches on self esteem, crushes, school bullies, inside struggles and the development and growth of young teens.
“We need to find ways that people are affected by what they read. A fictional diary can be very moving. In order to make change in our lives we have to be moved, not just convinced,” explained Holstein.
Holstein said she hopes that just as many parents read the book as do young girls. She said she believes it is important for parents to remember how crucial the pre-teen years can be. At the end of the book, a list of questions is given. Holstein hopes that parents and their children can tackle these questions together.
“I hope it will boost a girl or teen. For the mothers, I hope it will help her see how her daughter of child is feeling inside,” she said.
Holstein is a licensed positive phycologist in New Jersey and Massachusetts. She has held her private practices for more than 25 years. Holstein also worked as a school psychologist, a teacher and a case study researcher.
She has written five other books: “The Truth, I’m Ten, I’m Smart and I Know Everything,” “Delight!” “The Enchanted Self,” “Recipes For Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is You!,” and “Feel Good Stories.”
She is the daughter of Dr. Harry A. Becker, a past superintendent of the schools in Norwalk. While he was in office, Becker made various positive changes to the Norwalk School System. According to Holstein, he also founded Norwalk Community College.
Those who have read and enjoyed Holsteins book, may not have to wait long for the next one to appear. This book is just the first in a series.
“I’m almost done with the next book. Now she’ll be 10-12. The next will be 12-14,” she said.
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein will have a book signing at 3 p.m. today at Borders in Stamford, at 3 p.m. today at Borders, 1041 High Ridge Road, Stamford. For more information, call 968-9700.
Read the article here.