Growing Up Isn’t Easy!

In The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) the girl talks, at times, about not wanting to grow up.

Feelings about not wanting to grow up are common and often not discussed, as kids realize that most of the time parents expect them to want to grow up.

We as adults have often forgotten about how hard it is to move into adolescence. The bodily changes alone, are overwhelming. How many of us suffered with pimples, anxieties about getting our period, and all sorts of other issues? Just about all of us, although these issues may seem very far away now. I remember some mood swings that seemed to come out of the blue when I was 11. Hormones raging through my body, I’m sure didn’t help.

We have to be compassionate and helpful to those young ladies in our lives who are transitioning. Giving advise, and sharing about our own ups and downs as we moved through those years can take the pressure off a lot of what is happening.

The girl in The Truth realizes there are some great things about not being a grown-up yet. For example, she doesn’t have to earn a living. She can focus most of her attention on herself, her school work and other interests. Later in life it is harder to focus on ourselves. Multi-tasking takes over and there is little time for self-development.

At the same time, it is for most of us, a blessing to be part of a family of some sort, and to have a chance to participate in raising children. It is often exciting to work at a job and to have the power to make decisions about the course of our lives.

So really, all stages of life have their benefits and their losses. If we can stay light hearted as we see some of the pluses and minuses and keep a sense of humor, we can have such fun talking to kids about our stage of life as well as listening to the successes and frustrations that our kids feel about their lives.

The simple message is: Keep sharing. Your daughter will grow up even if she doesn’t want to for the moment. Don’t panic. Keep talking and sharing. Laugh and cuddle. Spend time together and give her your wisdom. But…make sure your don’t block out hers! She has wisdom also! Enjoy listening to it.

On You Tube Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein interviews two 11 Year Old Girls About The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

Come and listen to why I wrote The Truth and also how the girls react to the book!  A real girl’s response is worth a thousand imagined responses!

DR. BARBARA BECKER HOLSTEIN INTERVIEWS ALLY VALDEZ, POET AND WRITER, AGE 13

I am very excited about this real life interview with a budding poet and fiction writer. Ally is a student at the Manasquan School in Manasquan, New Jersey. I had a chance to meet Ally when I went to talk to Girl’s Club at the school about being a writer, as well as a psychologist and sharing my first book in The Truth Series, The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). Since then Ally has shared with me many of her writings and poetry. I am very impressed. She speaks from the heart with eloquence, spirit and humor. I hope she goes very far as a talented writer and poet. Enjoy our interview!

1. When did you become interested in writing poetry?
I became interested in writing when i was young but then forgot about it and put it aside for the 1-4th grades. In fifth grade i was praised by my teachers and started writing again. Then in 6th grade i put it on hold for the summer. This was the first year i truely found my calling.

2. Can you remember your first poem? Can you share it?
Yea i remember my first poem, i wrote this when i was 3 or 4 and my dad wrote it down for me. Here it is:

Dad is the wind which carries me through the day
Mom is the sun who brights up my day
Kiki (my sister) is the stars above
And me? I smile

3. How do poems come to you?
Wow this is a great question. Poems come to me like a shooting star but more often. Sometimes ill be sitting in math class, taking notes and ill just spark. My friends like to call it overdrive because ill have a two page poem finished in 2 minutes. And sometimes ill write poems in my sleep

4. When did you start to write other forms such as fiction?
I started writing other forms of writing when i was in fourth grade. I remember writing a story called “The world behind the water” it was about my friends and a story about atlantis, then this year i really got a kick out of it

5. Can you share with us one of your favorite poems that you wrote?
Dear Heartbreaker,

You are sick

You stabbed my heart

Until I couldn’t cry

Dear, Heartbreaker

You’ve have made me

Un-satiable to your effects

On my soul

Dear Heartbreaker,

You stole my heart and

Toyed with life

I was the marionette

And you held the strings

But then you randomly decided

To cut them

Dear Heartbreaker,

I love you

6. Are there adults in your life who have encouraged and helped you on your writing career? Who were they and want did they do for you?
Yea there are many adults who have encouraged me and helped me. My teachers Mrs.McWilliams and Mrs.Kim- they both taught me what i needed to know and encouraged me to go out there. My principal Mrs. Carlolson has been supportive of my writing and funded my classes. My friends Alice and Tess(even though they aren’t adults) have proved to me that i am a really good writer even when im hard on myself and have inspired me. My best friend Griffin too. He was there to read my writing and encouraged me to go out there and not care what people think. You, Dr.Holstien have encouraged me the most and have helped me truley go for it. I’d like to thank them and you for all the help and encouragement.

7. What advice would you give another young person interested in writing poetry or fiction?
If your interested in writing then go for it. If its a passion and you live and breathe it then your on the write track. If its your passion then just go for it submit your writing to publishers like Teenink.com ( i have a subscription to they’re magazine) where they publish everything imaginable. Show your teachers and get yourself known. Develop a portfolio and look at those old notebooks because there may be some gems in there. And most of all don’t care what people may think is weird or strange about your writing you’ll be surprised.

8. What are some of your dreams for your writing?
Some of my dreams for writing are to become an author and speak to kids around the country-maybe even world. I have always wanted to have my own colum in the New York Times. I’d also like to become has famous as Robert Frost or Edger Allen Poe.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein on Holistic Children Radio

Come and check out Holistic Children Radio where I talk about THE ENCHANTED SELF: Truth for Mothers and Daughters. I share a lot about positive psychology and of course about The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). Click Here

Listen to Dr. Barbara on the Radio Talking about Girls and Women

For those of you who like to listen to a great radio show while you
work at the computer, here is one!  I was interviewed by Deb Bailey of www.powerwomenmagazine.com .  We discuss The Enchanted Self and what that means for you as a woman or a mom of a daughter.  We also discuss my  book, The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything).  Here’s a little bit about www.powerwomenmagazine.com :
“Power Women Magazine is an online publication about women by women for women and issues important to women worldwide. We network to stand in one voice for not only ourselves but for women who can not use their voice. We tackle all issues with the government, state and local communities as well as worldwide groups through our own means or via non profit organizations whom we have partnered with to make that stance. Our Issues range from equal rights for all women to issues of homelessness among women, and everything in between.
Our Goals are to empower women no matter where they are or who they are. We must network and stand together in order to to make a change.”


CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHOW

Please let me know how you enjoyed it!!

“Your new book (SECRETS) sounds lovely! I’m so glad that you’re continuing the (Truth) series; your books are so important for teenagers that feel out of place in the world. In a way, you are giving them someone to turn to and something to hope for, a miracle in itself. :) ”Jamieson Wolf, Author.

“What a delightful book! The girl made me smile. I could relate to her on many levels- from her first crush to being picked last for sports. She’s not only funny, she’s insightful. Girls at any age could learn from her.”
~Allie Triggs

The Truth Official Book Launch

Girls between 8 and 12 can and do everything. However, adolescence can be very hard on girls and years later many a woman has lost touch with her earlier talents, strengths, potential or what makes her happy. I worked to develop a companionship with the 10-year old inside myself. Suddenly, getting to know myself as a child again was serious psychological business.

That’s when I wrote a journal-style book, The Truth (I’m a Girl, I’m Smart and I Know Everything!) If you are a woman, it will make you want to dance with your inner 10-year old and make her energies a part of yourself again. If you are an adult, you will see the child in your life in a much more profound light. You will want to help her hold on to her wisdom, wit, sense of competency and self-esteem. If you are a kid or a ‘tween, you will feel understood and connected to this fictional girl. After all, she is like you. The girl sees so much and knows so much as we all did at 10 or 11. And wouldn’t it be great to hold on to the energy and confidence that can go with that stage of life?

Women and girls of all ages, kids, tweens, teens, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles thank me for bringing this book to them. It opens the door to communication, and they see themselves, their daughters, nieces and granddaughters in the girl. Girls feel she is speaking for them while women remark that they wish this book had existed when they were growing up.

Now, this book is available on Amazon and those who buy it will also receive nearly $6,500 in free downloadable gifts! Check it out here: or

Enjoy!

Your friend,
Barbara Becker Holstein

Reflection

Barbara and book club

Barbara and book club

Summer is here, but I am still basking in the memories of the fun time I had at the Brielle School Girls Night Out.  Here is a picture of me with a bunch of the girls who had read The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything).  And here is part of the note I received from The G.I.R.L. Club: “We loved when you talked about your book with the club!  We also enjoyed when you talked about your inspiration and it gave us an eye opening experience to get us to do whatever we want to do in life…”

Fun at Girl’s Night Out at Brielle School and the Girls Club in Manasquan School.

bookclubdiscusssion-thetruthbybarbarabeckerholstein0051

 

The picture is of me, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein at the Girl’s Club that meets in the Manasquan School.  Soon I’ll have a picture of me at the Girl’s Club Girl’s Night Out at the Brielle School, which is located just a few miles away.  Both visits were such a treat for me.  In Manasquan I got to chat with the girls at the fifth grade level and again another day at the sixth grade level.  All were reading The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything).  At the Brielle School, the kids were sixth graders and they had finished reading the book.  I learned so much from the girls.  I’m very happy to report that the diary format appealed to all the girls and that they felt that the girl in the book really thinks in her head like a fifth or sixth grader.  All were interested in a second book in the series.  So many of the girls wanted to know how I started to write and was the girl from real life.  I explained that I myself started keeping a diary in the fourth grade and that certainly helped me practice writing.  (Even if the spelling was awful).  I also shared that some of the events that happened to the girl happened to me or clients of mine, or friends.  She was really a merger of all of us.  As she should be to share universal truths.  One compliment I received was that the book stayed true to the very end in tone and quality, rather than rushing to a conclusion that felt artificial or lacking.