The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) comes to the Manasquan School Book Clubs for Fifth and Sixth Grade Girls

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I had such a marvelous time with both groups of girls. These are great Book Clubs that meet at lunchtime. The guidance counselor opens each meeting with the following: The Truth is….and then she and the girls go around and fill in what is the truth for them over the last few weeks. This time Ms. Sanders was talking about the truth being how great she felt being away on vacation. The girls also had many truths about vacation, some good, some a bit disappointing. But that is the nature of vacations. Not all of them live up to our hopes and dreams. And that is the truth!

Then we went on to talk about The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). In each group a page was read aloud and discussed. In one group we discussed the Book Club that the girl and her friends start in the book.

What was really fun for me as a psychologist and an educator was what the girls would like to see in the next book-the sequel to The Truth and what they would like changed. Come back tomorrow for that information.

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“The highlight of our book club meeting was a visit by the author of our book selection, The Truth, by Dr. Barbara Holstein. The girls were able to share and discuss areas of the book that inspired them most. They told her how and why certain parts of the book impacted them. The author invited the girls to ask her questions about her writing experience and whether or not the book was autobiographical. She then asked the girls for suggestions for her next book. They recommended many issues that they felt needed to be addressed for their age group.

What a great experience for our girls! I am sure we have several future writers among them!”

Millie Sollecito Ed.D.
Student Assistance Counselor
Manasquan Elementary School
msollecito@manasquanboe.org

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April 29, 2009 | Filed Under Positive Psychology, Kids, Tweens and Teens, The Truth, I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything, Tweens, girls | Leave a Comment 

Dr. Holstein Talks to Kids from Stanton High School in Stanton, Iowa about The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

book006Yesterday was such a treat for me as a psychologist and an author. I talked via conference phone to Tonya, Lake and Emily at the Stanton High School. They are all students of Mrs. Whigham and they read my The Truth! All enjoyed the book. Some reactions and points made: Mrs. Whignam said that it was important for the girls to see that there are ways to cope with one’s problems outside of just leaning on other people. This is so important as girls often think they need a boyfriend or even a best friend to be able to cope. Reading about how the girl coped with a crush that led to frustration and other issues such as moving were very helpful. The kids commented that it was cool that ’she’, the girl, figured out a way to remember the best of herself as she grew up. (That involves a mystery in The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything), so I can’t give it away.

The girls felt sorry for the girl and saw her mom as ‘rude’ in that she didn’t always listen to her. We discussed how important it is for adults to listen to kids!

As far as the next book, they wanted to know the title in the series. I told them but also that it is a secret. So…..I’m afraid I can’t tell you yet. But they loved it and want to see the girl continue with the ‘drama’ of growing up as they put it. They discussed how they see their lives as involving conflicts between friends -good friends one minute and enemies the next. Also issues with parents, school, crushes, problems and they want to see the ‘girl’ go through those things also. We talked about her having some weight issues in the next book and all agreed that is a good subject to have her deal with.

It was great to ‘be’ with these girls in Iowa. I hope they will write to me on the blog and stay in touch. They were great!

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April 23, 2009 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 5 Comments 

When Your Daughter is on the Brink of Womanhood

I enjoy the company of my two nieces; while one is just two, the other is almost 9 now, an age that has made her mom a bundle of nerves. The “tweens” as these years between 8 and 13 are called, has replaced the teens of a few decades ago. Parents of teenagers were in a constant state of anxiety, wondering how to get them through these troubled years without too big a problem. Today, parents have to begin to worry a few years earlier, when their kids are in their tweens.

As far as I can judge, my niece is a well-adjusted child, even though she does throw the occasional tantrum that has mom and daughter up in arms against each other. But in a year or so, the tiffs between the two are going to get worse, over issues like makeup, clothes, and yes, boys. It’s one of life’s pleasures when you’re blessed with a baby girl, but someone ought to ask God to help the moms magically get through the rough tween and teen years.

Television and shows like Hannah Montana and High School Musical are not doing too much to help either. In fact, they’re in a way responsible for inducing young girls to go in for spray tans, facials, highlights, massages and other beauty treatments at beauty salons. Besides this, there’s the pressure from peers that makes all young girls want to look as grownup as possible (little do they realize that in a decade or so, they’re going to be spending all their time trying to look as young as possible).

The problems parents face as their little girls grow up have a lot to do with the way a woman’s body and physiology are designed. They undergo both physical and emotional changes, and combined with the plethora of “cool” things that are suddenly accessible (like makeup, grownup clothes, boys, and in worst cases, drugs and alcohol), they pack quite a punch for a young mind. It’s hard to remain rational and mature when all your friends are doing it. It’s hard not to succumb to peer pressure and refuse to go along with your friends, not when you’re trying to fit in and be popular.

Parents have to deal with these sensitive issues in a way that’s mature and patient. Very often, they have to draw the line somewhere and put down some ground rules, something that’s extremely hard to do when your daughter is in a rebellious phase. They also have to talk about sex with their daughters – it’s best they learn about it from you because they’ll be able to come to you with any questions they may have as the years go by.

It’s tough, but close-knit families with a sense of values manage to make it through these turbulent times. And they do it by being there for their daughters even if things go horribly wrong; they do it being supportive and not saying “I told you so”; they do it by understanding their children even when they err.

That is the key to getting through the “growing up” years, especially when you have a daughter – understanding and patience.

By-line:

This article is written by Kat Sanders, who regularly blogs on the topic of MRI technician schools at her blog MRI Tech’s Health Blog. She welcomes your comments and questions at her email address: katsanders25@gmail.com.

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April 8, 2009 | Filed Under Positive Psychology, Kids, Tweens and Teens, Tweens, girls | Leave a Comment