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Welcome to our weekly podcast on Kids,Tweens and Teens, A Positive Psychologist Looks at All Three.  Today’s podcast introduces you to the Seven Gateways to Happiness and how they pertain to girls, particularly girls as they are in the tween years of 8-12.  Martha Trowbridge, my colleague and a national expert and author on inspiration for women, chats with me about these Gateways. 

 

Thanks,  Barbara

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July 31, 2008 | Filed Under Weekly Podcast | Leave a Comment 

Can You Handle the ‘Truth’? | The Jewish Exponent

Experts confirm what the majority of people know: Truth comes in a number of forms and reveals itself in myriad ways, and that it’s often relative, depending on the needs and expectations of the seeker.

Now, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, based in Long Branch, N.J., and a nationally known positive psychologist — an officially recognized branch of psychology that centers on what’s right with people — examines what truth is as young girls see it, in her new book, titled The Truth: I’m a Girl, I’m Smart and I Know Everything, the first in what is expected to be a series.

The book, which contains a “bit of mystery” because girls love that, noted Holstein, is the fictitious account of a young girl who keeps a secret diary in which she writes about the thoughts, ideas, people and events that shape and forge the truth for her.

In the process, it establishes a forum for discussion with parents and peers.

Through the eyes and feelings of the girl, Holstein comments professionally about truth’s particular impact on females aged 8, 9 and 10 years old — and beyond. It also focuses on its meaning in connection with interaction with the adults in their lives — mothers, grandmothers, fathers, teachers and others.

In the introduction to the book, Holstein, reflecting on her own days as a young girl, wrote: “One day I decided to find a way to combine what I already knew as a girl with the knowledge I have as a classroom teacher, case-study researcher, school psychologist, and a psychologist in private practice, in Long Branch, for nearly 30 years. I had to find a fun way to do this that would really help girls and mothers recognize that what we know growing up is just as important as what we learn later.

“One day the ‘girl’ just appeared. She knew what to say and how to say it. She did a much better job of sharing the truth than I ever could have imagined. So I just let her go for it. I used a child’s voice because children understand things in a special way. In the end, the young girl will become a young woman and will keep the best of herself.”

There are 12 to 15 serious topics embedded in the book that offer young girls and their parents the opportunity to discuss the subjects. Girls throughout the world, explained Holstein, experience similar aspects of growing up, with crushes, family and sibling friction, and being bullied at school just a few of the categories that bewilder children and cause them to feel alone.

And Then There’s the Internet
When the influence of the Internet is thrown into the mix, unavoidable and continual situations for concern arise, leaving parents unsure of how to handle these challenging aspects of a young girl’s life, said Holstein.

Here’s an excerpt from The Truth: “What is wrong with human beings? I had to read The Diary of Anne Frank in Sunday school and again I felt so horrible. She died only a few years older than I am. And she loved life so much. How can it be? … ”

At the back of the book, readers will find 25 discussion questions for youngsters.

Why did Holstein write The Truth? “I wrote it because after having worked on women’s issues for years, I came to the conclusion that women at every stage of life need to find ways to build self-esteem and self-worth.

“Every girl wants a mother who listens and is aware of her behavior, especially during the tween years. Family is fun, and tweens want to feel special in their families. The Truth gives girls 8 to 14 years old the knowledge that they are not alone, while it reminds mothers what it was like to be this age,” explained Holstein.

Among her hopes for the book — which ranks second in parenting tweens book topics on Amazon.com — she said, is to see it in school libraries, adding that “my other dream would be to see it turned into a musical.”

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July 26, 2008 | Filed Under Positive Psychology, Kids, Tweens and Teens, The Truth, I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything | Leave a Comment 

THE TRUTH (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) in the top 100

The Best You Can Be Foundation names YA book by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein as one of the best

July 7, 2008, Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. – After an evaluation by a panel of teachers, therapists, and children, THE TRUTH (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein has been selected as one of the top 100 books of the year. The Best You Can Be Foundation feels THE TRUTH encompasses helping girls, ages 8 – 14, feel validated and understood.

The Best You Can Be Award program honors products that can truly make a difference in the lives of children, parents or teachers. This award program is designed to celebrate motivational products and recommend these products to the public, our readers and our clients.

Author Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self, a focus on positive psychology. She has been a positive psychologist in private practice and licensed in the states of New Jersey and Massachusetts for over 25 years.

Founder of The Best You Can Be Foundation and syndicated parenting columnist for United Press International, Debbie Milam highly recommends The Truth. “My 10 year old daughter could not put the book down. She savored each page with excitement that someone had put her feelings into writing,” Milam said. “After reading the book she was so inspired by it that she is now writing her own book.”
 
THE TRUTH is filled with wisdom that is not only life changing for girls, but truths every parent could also begin integrating into their own lives. These truths can help us connect not only with our own children, but also with our beautiful inner child.

The magic of the human spirit, with its capacity for survival, growth and joy, has always intrigued Dr. Barbara. As years went by and her practice grew, she longed to explore adult development even further – specifically how to overcome adversity and bring pleasure into one’s life while living a life worth living. A life that is a good life, filled with happiness, meaning and purpose has become the focus of Dr. Holstein’s books, articles, seminars, radio shows, television shows, newsletters, etc. Her methods of improving ourselves so we have more positive emotions and thoughts are easy to understand and move us toward mental wellness and a deeper appreciation of ourselves and our potential.

Dr. Barbara speaks regularly on radio programs around the country, and appears on television in New York and New Jersey.  Her inspiring audio shows and podcasts links can be found here.  Her articles and stories appear on the web on hundreds of sites. She also gives lectures, seminars, and tele-classes on happiness. 

To purchase The Truth or any of Dr. Barbara’s books or other resources visit her online at http://www.enchantedself.com/, or for more information please contact publicist Michelle Blackley at mblackley@thecadencegrp.com or 917/916-3030.

The Best You Can Be 501C3 Foundation is dedicated to supporting parents and teachers to inspire children to reach their highest potential. Through teacher in-service training, parenting resources, children’s motivational programming and curriculum development, our goal is to create system where every child can find peace within themselves, develop meaningful relationships, contribute to the greater good in their community, work through stress, and be motivated to reach their highest potential. For more information on this award program http://www.bestyoucanbe.org/

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July 22, 2008 | Filed Under In the News | Leave a Comment 

The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) has so many topics embedded into it for mothers and daughters and anyone who has walked the path of growing up as a girl that I hardly know which to pick.  Let’s look at purity of heart.
Purity of heart is in my opinion as a woman, a positive psychologist and having been a girl, is a special vision that we often have in childhood.  It is not just seeing with our eyes.  It is a sixth sense combined with tender feelings and acute awareness of our surroundings. 

For example, when Laura Engals describes to us the way she ran through the prairie grass and looked up into the sky to follow hawks and looked at the starts at night while her father played the fiddle, her words evoke a purity of heart sensation in even adults.  She was able as a writer to create the whole atmosphere of her life on the prairie so that we feel something new and fresh and yet eternal as we read The Little House on The Prairie. 

In The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) I have tried to capture the same sense of purity of heart.  When the ‘girl’ is upset when her cousin swears it isn’t because she is making a moral judgment.  It is because the swear words just feel bad as they hit her across the room.  And when she dances with her mother up in the bedroom to rock and roll music, the relief of connecting with her mom and the pleasure of moving, laughing and hugging together is all there is.  This is the moment and it is pure. 
Purity of heart is a clean feeling and when we have purity of heart moments we can feel cleansed and delighted at the same time.  Or if they are upsetting moments, as when the ‘girl’s’ cousin swore at least she knew he was not right and there was some relief just in the expression of her emotions.
As a positive psychologist I wanted to incorporate purity of heart into The Truth as we at all ages need to remember the intense pure feelings of childhood, both for ourselves and for the next generation.  We need to remember them for ourselves so we can go there once again and experience the sweetness and passion that goes with really being alive, not just sleepwalking as sometimes we do as grown-ups.  And for the next generation’s sake we need to remember because we need to connect with our children and grandchildren and we need to reassure them and help validate for them that their emotions are not only pure but often more in tune with what is right that we are.  Aging is not necessarily becoming emotionally more astute.  Aging can sometimes just be aging. 

The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) has many themes and one of them is most certainly don’t sleepwalk.  Stay alive as you age and let the kids you know refresh you as well as the kid you was were.  After all, she is still inside of you!  I promise and that’s the truth!

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July 13, 2008 | Filed Under The Truth, I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything | Leave a Comment